Laura's Fitness Upates

[Laura]

Laura dont stop posting just because of what we have said, youve made good progress and keeping the log up is a good source of motivation for you it seems, Ill just learn to keep my nose out of where it doesnt belong

It WAS a good source of motivation. Now I'm not so sure. Seems like every time I post something on here or in the "workout" thread, someone has an opinion about how I'm doing it wrong. No machines, you should be doing freeweights or kettlebells. No isolations, you should be doing compounds. No X, you should be doing Y. This workout you posted is bad, but we won't tell you what a good alternative would be. Stop worrying about the number on the scale, but we'll judge your food intake anyway, without bothering to ASK what your eating habits actually ARE.

That's DEmotivational. So very, very, VERY demotivational.

Alex, you're the only one of the three of you who has said, "Hey, great job Laura!" in recent memory. That's what I thought this whole fitness discussion was supposed to be about. Support. No one's acknowledged that I've been keeping up a consistent workout plan for FOUR MONTHS. That is HUGE for me. No one's acknowledged that my strength is improving or that my stamina is getting better, which they both are. No one's acknowledged that I've lost a dress size, which I have.

So, yeah. Not so motivational these days. I know you all are trying to help...but most of the time, it really feels like you guys just want to hear yourselves be The Voice of Authority on Fitness and Diet in this tiny pond we call Gutterzombie. Lemme give YOU some food for thought: Try reading and absorbing what I'm saying first, and asking questions and gathering information, BEFORE dispensing advice.

Dave: Next time you feel the need to start a post with, "I don't want to be a troublemaker," stop there and delete your post, because you're not going to do anything BUT exacerbate things.

-- Laura

[John Rauch]

Motivation is not just telling a person they're doing great. I went to fight training for several months. You think I'd get any better at fighting by someone congratulating me on showing up every day? It doesn't work like that. I had to get hit...a lot. The world doesn't adapt to the way we work. We adapt to the way it does.

Frankly, I don't understand how you can make a post saying you're three pounds lighter than last year and then tell us you know everything you need to know about diet. You don't. I didn't either, but I stuck to the basics and lost weight nearly every week for 8-10 months. It's not hard, but you have to do the right things. It's incredibly hard to do if you believe you are the exception to the rule. I don't *need* to ask about your diet before saying that eating less calories than you burn will cause weight loss, because it will...in EVERYONE. A while back, you said something about being bothered that your doctor gave you crap about it, so I don't know why you think it'd be any different coming from a nutritionist. I have three friends and my wife who have been losing weight following my simple advice. They all work out differently, but they all follow the same diet guidelines. Every week, they're a couple pounds lighter. My wife has lost 65 lbs. My best friend and his wife have lost 90 lbs and 50 lbs, respectively. No one will tell you eating whole foods is a bad idea. Vegetables, meat, fruit, in those proportions and nothing else. No diet drinks, no shakes, no condiments, just things that grow and the weight will come off. You don't need to worry about starvation mode and all that. There's so much research out there about tiny little fringe subjects that people get the cart ahead of the wagon. It's easy to do and you're not the only one. I understand it's stressful and embarrassing. I started out nearly 90 lbs overweight myself and I HATED it. I was constantly embarrassed around other people or even in front of the mirror by myself. But, at the end of the day, it's like the kids that come in here posting their work. Very few are going to start out amazing, but the ones who listen to others who have been successful have a good chance at also being successful. The ones who spend all their time telling you how good they are and defending anything negative will either be doing the same thing a year from now or they will have quit.

If you want to quit posting about all this because it's stressful, then go ahead. The whole point of posting about it was to keep yourself doing the right things anyway. If you're not seeing progress, all the logging and posting in the world won't offset it. I understand you're pissed off and this response is probably going to make it even worse, but I think it needs to be said and you'll either figure it out at some point, or eventually give up because you're not getting the results you want. It's your decision, but you need to know that no one here has said anything untrue or unfair. The way you will lose weight is the same way Alex lost weight, the same way I lost weight, and the same way everyone does. There are different programs and philosophies on the subject for people who need to have it broken down into specifics, but every program that WORKS shares the same basic principles.

[Zombie Dave McCaig]

Laura:

I can step back and see that you're not looking for advice or solutions here, you're looking for support and motivation. I'll stick to that. I imagine that all this unsolicited advice might piss me off too... I hope you know that it all had good intentions though.

[Zombie Dave McCaig]

I really hope you won't stop posting on here - It really has been great seeing you work at this and getting results. Losing a dress size is great. Feeling that you're making progress is great. Starting a healthier lifestyle is great.

It's encouraging to me to see you keeping at this stuff - and I'm sure it's inspiring to others as well.

[Laura]

Dave: Thank you.

John: Thanks for reminding me that I HAVEN'T lost 50-90 pounds by now. Thanks a lot, John. Way to go. I feel like ABSOLUTE SHIT now. Aren't you and your family and friends golden gods for your accomplishments, and aren't I a total lazy ass who doesn't know dick.

-- Laura

[John Rauch]

The decision is yours, Laura. The way you feel is dependent on you, not me. Don't you think it's easier to try something new than to keep working so hard at something that doesn't produce results? I don't think your lazy. I think you're trying really hard and your goals are good ones. I just think you're going about it the wrong way. If you take that as an attack, that's your decision. You can let it help you or piss you off.

[Laura]

Eh. I'm over being mad.

Still don't get how losing 20 pounds, a dress size, and quite a few inches, while gaining strength and stamina, is "going about it the wrong way". Doing it slowly? Undoubtedly. Having a few setbacks? Absolutely. Doing it different than you? Obviously.

But "wrong?" We'll just have to agree to disagree on that one.

Nevertheless, I'll take your points into consideration, because I know you're just trying to kick my ass into Change.

-- Laura

[Zombie Dave McCaig]

[John Rauch]

Obviously, it's not all wrong if you've lost 20 lbs. I never said (and don't believe) everything you're doing is wrong, just that it can be easier than this. I ignore kids who post crappy art all the time because they're not my friends and I don't want to waste my time on them. I consider you a friend, Laura, and if I'm a dick, I'm still a dick that wants to help you.

[Alex Sollazzo]

I ignore kids who post crappy art all the time because they're not my friends and I don't want to waste my time on them.

Cuts me deep John

[John Rauch]

I never did know when to shut up, but I want to say one more thing. As you may or may not know, I've been trying to bulk up for about a year now and have been (mostly) failing miserably. I gained little bits. A couple ounces here and there. I was given good, basic, old school advice and I ignored it thinking my body was different and needed more work. I've done 40 set workouts going all out. I've eaten more calories in a day than some people have in three and it wasn't happening. About 6 weeks ago, I gave up my pride and what I thought I knew and I've seen better gains since then than the entire year before. I feel like an idiot, truthfully. I can't believe I wasted so much time trying SO hard. You and I have been doing the same basic thing the past year, trying to outwork good old proven advice. Maybe I'm passionate about this because it was so recent of a discovery for me, but I really do care and feel bad that you feel bad.

[John Rauch]

I ignore kids who post crappy art all the time because they're not my friends and I don't want to waste my time on them.

Cuts me deep John

CRAP CRAP CRAP! I knew there was something I was forgetting to do. Let me finish this book, then I promise.

[Laura]

I consider you a friend, Laura, and if I'm a dick, I'm still a dick that wants to help you.

Haw! Well, that you are, then.

-- Laura

[ChrisCox]

Laura - you're doing good. Keep at it, and talk to your doctor and nutritionist as needed.


To those who think they know a better way: remember that you are not Laura. You don't have her body, her metabolism, her health, her stress, etc. What worked for you or someone you know may not work for her. Also don't pretend that you know every detail of Laura's life and what she has or has not tried or might be doing already.

Give her support, not uninvited criticism.


Chris
(who's received similar treatment from people who should know better)

[Laura]

Thanks, Chris.

So. Status update. Good news:

Measured my BP several times over the last two days. All measurements have been at or below 128/82.

Calves down 1" in diameter. (Haven't measured the rest of me yet; I just needed to know calf measurements so I could order some awesome boots.)

Resting heart rate is at 56, down from 70.

Bad news:

Something is definitely up with my right shoulder. I'm going to keep a log of what hurts and when, and see my doc next week if possible. Also, I've had a spasm in my left neck/shoulder/upper back for two weeks now.

-- Laura